About two or three times a week, I leave my house looking like I'm headed to a photo shoot instead of my little 6 by 7 office at my less than glamorous job. Some mornings I just get the urge to put in the extra effort to have my makeup just right and my hair perfectly coiffed. The positive attention is also good for the self-esteem. Although it's friggin' rainy and disgusting out, I decided to take that special ten minutes this morning to make my appearance just so. Honestly, I had no choice but to get it together because I was hungover and needed to double up on the concealer to hide my puffy eyes.
As I made my descent into the train station, a young man was at the bottom of the stairs waiting with open arms to greet me- literally. First I thought it was some random dude who had gotten all creative with his game and expected me to run into his arms because I looked so good. Then, as I got closer I recognized his face- and surprisingly remembered his name. I swear I have some kind of brain malfunction, where I can remember this insignificant guy's ( who I hadn't seen in about four years) name; but repeatedly call my Vice President, DEBBIE (who I see daily) the name "Donna." Oh well...so when I hit the train platform, dude tried to embrace me but I promptly kept him at arm's length because although I remembered him- I didn't recollect us having any kind of real relationship- intimate or otherwise.
His name was "Lex," and I met him when I was fourteen when Lexus vehicles were all the rage in the hood. Lex did not own a Lexus, but I'm sure he aspired to. He was a petty hustler with nice gear and a lot of gold, which was attractive to me back then. He was a smooth talker; just cute enough to not be ugly- and he smelled like a mix of Polo cologne and "Eau de Ganja." We exchanged numbers and saw each other on the block occasionally. I think I even snuck up to his apartment one day and kissed him ONCE, but thankfully I was so afraid of my mama catching me up to no good with a street knucklehead that I didn't give him a real chance to pursue anything. He flirted and I teased and that was the extent of our "relationship."
It wasn't long before I just didn't see Lex around anymore, and I barely even noticed. He resurfaced again one summer when I was home on college break and told that he'd also been "away" for a while. He was not away at college. He tried putting the old moves on me again, but I had been exposed to the "Educated Playas" at my school, and was so over the "Roughneck" thing.
Now, here was Lex again at the train station this morning. He was still the same guy- just a little older- but definitely NOT wiser. I was so not interested in carrying on a conversation with him, but he boarded the same train as me and I guess we had some catching up to do, right? He constantly commented on my "breathtaking beauty" (his words- NOT mine) and was practically undressing me with his eyes while we were on the train. I squeezed into a tight seat to hide my body but that just gave him a bird's eye view of the teeny bit of cleavage that was peeking out from my blouse. I uncomfortably clutched the top of my shirt to cover up. DAmn- why did I have to bring sexy back today? The lady next to me got off at the following stop, which left just enough room for Lex to slide right in next to me. In an attempt to divert the conversation from my "breathtaking beauty" (I like saying that), I started up a little small talk. Once again Lex said he'd been "away" and he was on his way to see his parole officer, yadda, yadda, yadda. I didn't even bother to bore him with the details of my every day, non-criminal, working life. It wasn't long before Lex was back to his old bullisht flirting, but this time I was NOT reciprocating - not even a little bit. While he was busy explaining to me exactly how hard he could put it down, all I could think about was why I even knew this guy. I also wondered how hard he was getting IT put down on him while he was locked up. There was absolutely nothing attractive about Lex now. His gold was all gone, his grill was messed up and he was ashy. I felt like I should have known better when I was fourteen. Anyway, I am so glad I know better now.
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OMG, I love this post! It is hilarious. What a cautionary tale, lol. I feel the same way sometimes about getting ready in the morning. Sometimes, I'm in the mood to do the whole Patrick Bateman routine in the mirror but sometimes I just gotta roll. The problem is I always bump into the fine ex when I look like crap rolled over.
"Lex" taking the train. Priceless. You mean Eau de Ganja isn't alluring, lol? Believe me, there's a whole lot of ugly and dysfunctional up in my closet. Ugh. Better a kiss back then and a whole lot of self-awareness now.
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