Black Buccaneers- R.I.P.

Move over Jack Sparrow! There are some new Jacks taking over the high seas- The Somalian Seasters. I gave them that moniker because these brothas totally deserve a cool name. For over a year now these Maritime Mobsters (I have a million of em) have been jacking cargo ships and putting it down on the sea streets. Seriously, these are not your average round-the-way hustlers who consider trivial CD/DVD-peddling on 125th Street piracy. These men are running isht on another level- claiming oil and other major commodities.

I first read about the Somalian pirates last year when I came across a blurb in the paper about "pirates hijacking some foreign vessel." My initial reaction was a befuddled, "who knew there were still actual PIRATES out there?" Over the next few months, I kept peeping tiny articles buried in the International section of the AM daily about these pirates successfully seizing more and more ships. My interest was really piqued when they were later revealed to be Somali. Get the eff outta here- there are still actual PIRATES and they are BLACK?!

One newspaper released a photo of these Black Buccaneers (that has a nice ring to it) and I was floored. Forget what you heard from old Walt Disney. These dudes were clearly NOT of the Caribbean. They were young, very "Somali-looking," with those prominent foreheads and pointy noses, and they wore hot little jackets and fatigues. Not one puffy shirt in sight. While I love me some Johnny Depp, these dudes could probably "get it" too. Hell, unlike traditional pirates, they look like they might actually want IT from a lady.

Anyway, these pirates have finally plundered their way to international notoriety with all of their swash buckling hi-jinx. They recently took over a United States NAVY ship and held the captain hostage. I'm not sure if they took anything else, but as of this morning the U.S. Captain was released unharmed and three of the Somalian Sea Soldiers (THAT'S a good one) were killed by NAVY Snipers. They just had to mess with the U.S. didn't they? Sidebar: If memory serves me right, they've pretty much pillaged without ridiculous violent sword fighting and plank-walking. Yeah- they carry assault weapons- but, I'm sure that's just an intimidation tactic... They once came aboard a cruise ship, barely rattled any feathers and left peacefully. I'm sure now that the Big BAd U.S. has been victimized- the SSS's reputation will sorely suffer. From what i could gather, they weren't looking for trouble- just for the LOOT, which they allegedly stole about $70 million worth. WOW! Maybe they'll lay low for a while and decide to trick some of that booty on some real booty- preferably mine. Unless of course, that whole PIRATE stereotype is true- to which I'll say to them "how YOU doin'?