Sucka Punch Drunk... again

If you recall from previous posts such "Dangerously in Like," and "How He Doin' part 1," I tend to fall truly, madly and deeply in like with whomever is courting me at the moment. Of course those posts were written at the height of dating bliss. For some reason, I rarely ever follow up with the "What a D!@khead" sequel that always occurs about three to four months down the line. Guess I'm just trying to keep my blog nice and pleasant. Besides, I've learned my lesson on more than one occasion about posting slanderous accounts about my exes online.

Call me a sucker, but I absolutely adore the behavior males exhibit during the early stages of dating. Sure, deep down inside I know that it's all an act- but who doesn't enjoy a good show every now and then? Once upon a time, I was afraid to admit to prematurely liking a guy because I didn't want to seem too gullible. A man wasn't worthy of my fondness until after he took me out on about three dates. Only then could I freely share my feelings about the guy, because I had the time and money spent to validate liking him. Peculiarly though- now that I'm older and (wiser?) I've let my guard down (just a little) enough to appreciate the more modest acts of courtship. Random, thoughtful text messages make me cheese. Minor public displays of affection get me all gushy inside. I could forever listen to stupid, sweet nothings whispered in my ear. For someone who doesn't consider herself a "Hopeless Romantic," I sure am acting all "pink." Tee hee hee.

Whatever, I'm just in one of those moods. Of course there's a new guy who is sweet as pie right now and I am absolutely enjoying every minute of it. Unfortunately, I still have that cynical bitch side telling me that he is full of doo-doo and I kind of believe her. But hey, if someone really wants to put in the time and effort pretending to be someone he is not, then his ailment is far worse than my temporary love-sickness. Who knows? Maybe guys are genuine in the beginning and us ladies turn them into the lying, cheating, monster a-holes that they inevitably become. Ummm... not likely. Look, I don't even have enough time to delve into why men suck. I just know they usually don't start out sucking; and, those brief moments are why I continue to date and unabashedly share my heart.

Black Buccaneers- R.I.P.

Move over Jack Sparrow! There are some new Jacks taking over the high seas- The Somalian Seasters. I gave them that moniker because these brothas totally deserve a cool name. For over a year now these Maritime Mobsters (I have a million of em) have been jacking cargo ships and putting it down on the sea streets. Seriously, these are not your average round-the-way hustlers who consider trivial CD/DVD-peddling on 125th Street piracy. These men are running isht on another level- claiming oil and other major commodities.

I first read about the Somalian pirates last year when I came across a blurb in the paper about "pirates hijacking some foreign vessel." My initial reaction was a befuddled, "who knew there were still actual PIRATES out there?" Over the next few months, I kept peeping tiny articles buried in the International section of the AM daily about these pirates successfully seizing more and more ships. My interest was really piqued when they were later revealed to be Somali. Get the eff outta here- there are still actual PIRATES and they are BLACK?!

One newspaper released a photo of these Black Buccaneers (that has a nice ring to it) and I was floored. Forget what you heard from old Walt Disney. These dudes were clearly NOT of the Caribbean. They were young, very "Somali-looking," with those prominent foreheads and pointy noses, and they wore hot little jackets and fatigues. Not one puffy shirt in sight. While I love me some Johnny Depp, these dudes could probably "get it" too. Hell, unlike traditional pirates, they look like they might actually want IT from a lady.

Anyway, these pirates have finally plundered their way to international notoriety with all of their swash buckling hi-jinx. They recently took over a United States NAVY ship and held the captain hostage. I'm not sure if they took anything else, but as of this morning the U.S. Captain was released unharmed and three of the Somalian Sea Soldiers (THAT'S a good one) were killed by NAVY Snipers. They just had to mess with the U.S. didn't they? Sidebar: If memory serves me right, they've pretty much pillaged without ridiculous violent sword fighting and plank-walking. Yeah- they carry assault weapons- but, I'm sure that's just an intimidation tactic... They once came aboard a cruise ship, barely rattled any feathers and left peacefully. I'm sure now that the Big BAd U.S. has been victimized- the SSS's reputation will sorely suffer. From what i could gather, they weren't looking for trouble- just for the LOOT, which they allegedly stole about $70 million worth. WOW! Maybe they'll lay low for a while and decide to trick some of that booty on some real booty- preferably mine. Unless of course, that whole PIRATE stereotype is true- to which I'll say to them "how YOU doin'?