I am NOT one of these chicks who insolently boasts that she only has male friends because women are too catty and jealous. I am totally blessed to have some of the best female friends in my life. They are wonderful, intelligent, stylish, and beautiful ladies. We laugh, cry, chill and party together- absolute "BFFs." I love my girls to death; however, sometimes I also want to strangle them to death. I totally value and respect their different personality traits. These are the things that make them special. Unfortunately, some of their "unique" characteristics irk the hell out of me. So, in true "girlfriend"fashion I'm going to talk about them.
(First, let me drop this disclaimer: If any of my homegirls are reading this blog, please try not to take too much offense to my reckless writing because I am really going somewhere and making a point in this piece.)
BFF A- Sweetest girl ever, but totally self-absorbed with poor listening skills. Always rehashes the same stories with as much zeal and enthusiasm as she had when she first told them. I think her constant repetition is due to the fact that she just likes to hear herself talk.
BFF B - Totally dependable homegirl from back in the day. Been with me through thick and thin (literally and metaphorically). I think her education and employment gave her both a superiority and inferiority complex. That discord causes her to turn her nose up at certain people and put herself down at the same time- and that annoys me.
BFF C - A total "social scene" queen who shares my my passion for all things fabulous and superficial. She's a major "BAP," and I adore her for it. She too, has that "superiority/inferiority" thing going on; but, what really "Grinds My Gears" (Family Guy ref) about this girl is that she endlessly criticizes me about certain things I say/do, and then turns around and does the same things. When I call her on this behavior, she insists that her reasons for doing whatever are more justified than mine...Whateva.
BFF D - I've known her the longest. She is mature beyond her years, exceedingly responsible and has a great head on her shoulders. Unfortunately, she is stubborn as a mule. She is trapped in a mental jail cell and is afraid to let loose. Her obstinate demeanor is really a shield she uses to protect herself from living life to its fullest. Oh, and beyond that- she's a REPUBLICAN (gasp)!
BFFs E and F have their issues too; but, I will spare them so that I can finally get to the point of this entry. Plus- they're probably the only friends I'll have left after the others read this.
With friends like me, who needs enemies? Well, I've never been big on the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" adage. I prefer going the "truth hurts" route. Occasionally, when I am PMS'ing, drunk or just in a pissy mood I tend to put my friends on blast and reveal to them what I regard as their personality "flaws." All the while, I have never really considered the possibility that I annoy my friends. I wonder what they would find reprehensible about me. Well, I pondered long and hard to compile this list of the top five things that I think my girls may find aggravating about me, but are far too gracious to disclose (to me at least. I know those heifers talk about me behind my back).
1) I have a BIG mouth. Rather, I am perceived to have a big mouth. Actually, I don't think I have a big mouth, I just sometimes have a hard time determining a "secret" from something I'm just not supposed to say when someone else is around. Yeah- isn't that a secret? No. I can't get into the specifics right now- but there is a difference. People just have to make it very clear to me that what they are telling me is a secret. Preface said sentence with, "Hey B, don't tell anybody but..." and I will understand.
2) I am about 85% bark and 10% bite (those numbers can skew based on the situation). My friends probably can't stand the fact that I talk a good game, but probably won't act. Oh well...
3) When I'm right, I'm right. When I'm wrong, I'm RIGHT. I support most of my arguments with emotions and not logic (excuse me for being a girl) and one cannot prove feelings wrong. Therefore, I can't be necessarily be wrong. Makes perfect sense to me.
4) I am a hater. Most of my hate stems from envy and jealousy. However, sometimes I'm merely making casual observations and maybe not expressing them in the most tactful manner. In my defense, I think my friends are not always annoyed with this trait because sometimes I say stuff that I already know they're thinking, but just aren't verbalizing.
5) I am insecure. My girls recognize my potential far more than I do; and, the fact that I prefer to bitch and complain as opposed to actually living up to it frustrates them. I'm working on it. Besides, whining is totally healthy and cathartic.
There it is folks. I love my girls despite the stuff I hate about them. I am just grateful to have them in my life. Really, if given the chance, I probably wouldn't change their little idiosyncrasies because it's part of who they are and perfect people are so lame and boring.
(First, let me drop this disclaimer: If any of my homegirls are reading this blog, please try not to take too much offense to my reckless writing because I am really going somewhere and making a point in this piece.)
BFF A- Sweetest girl ever, but totally self-absorbed with poor listening skills. Always rehashes the same stories with as much zeal and enthusiasm as she had when she first told them. I think her constant repetition is due to the fact that she just likes to hear herself talk.
BFF B - Totally dependable homegirl from back in the day. Been with me through thick and thin (literally and metaphorically). I think her education and employment gave her both a superiority and inferiority complex. That discord causes her to turn her nose up at certain people and put herself down at the same time- and that annoys me.
BFF C - A total "social scene" queen who shares my my passion for all things fabulous and superficial. She's a major "BAP," and I adore her for it. She too, has that "superiority/inferiority" thing going on; but, what really "Grinds My Gears" (Family Guy ref) about this girl is that she endlessly criticizes me about certain things I say/do, and then turns around and does the same things. When I call her on this behavior, she insists that her reasons for doing whatever are more justified than mine...Whateva.
BFF D - I've known her the longest. She is mature beyond her years, exceedingly responsible and has a great head on her shoulders. Unfortunately, she is stubborn as a mule. She is trapped in a mental jail cell and is afraid to let loose. Her obstinate demeanor is really a shield she uses to protect herself from living life to its fullest. Oh, and beyond that- she's a REPUBLICAN (gasp)!
BFFs E and F have their issues too; but, I will spare them so that I can finally get to the point of this entry. Plus- they're probably the only friends I'll have left after the others read this.
With friends like me, who needs enemies? Well, I've never been big on the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" adage. I prefer going the "truth hurts" route. Occasionally, when I am PMS'ing, drunk or just in a pissy mood I tend to put my friends on blast and reveal to them what I regard as their personality "flaws." All the while, I have never really considered the possibility that I annoy my friends. I wonder what they would find reprehensible about me. Well, I pondered long and hard to compile this list of the top five things that I think my girls may find aggravating about me, but are far too gracious to disclose (to me at least. I know those heifers talk about me behind my back).
1) I have a BIG mouth. Rather, I am perceived to have a big mouth. Actually, I don't think I have a big mouth, I just sometimes have a hard time determining a "secret" from something I'm just not supposed to say when someone else is around. Yeah- isn't that a secret? No. I can't get into the specifics right now- but there is a difference. People just have to make it very clear to me that what they are telling me is a secret. Preface said sentence with, "Hey B, don't tell anybody but..." and I will understand.
2) I am about 85% bark and 10% bite (those numbers can skew based on the situation). My friends probably can't stand the fact that I talk a good game, but probably won't act. Oh well...
3) When I'm right, I'm right. When I'm wrong, I'm RIGHT. I support most of my arguments with emotions and not logic (excuse me for being a girl) and one cannot prove feelings wrong. Therefore, I can't be necessarily be wrong. Makes perfect sense to me.
4) I am a hater. Most of my hate stems from envy and jealousy. However, sometimes I'm merely making casual observations and maybe not expressing them in the most tactful manner. In my defense, I think my friends are not always annoyed with this trait because sometimes I say stuff that I already know they're thinking, but just aren't verbalizing.
5) I am insecure. My girls recognize my potential far more than I do; and, the fact that I prefer to bitch and complain as opposed to actually living up to it frustrates them. I'm working on it. Besides, whining is totally healthy and cathartic.
There it is folks. I love my girls despite the stuff I hate about them. I am just grateful to have them in my life. Really, if given the chance, I probably wouldn't change their little idiosyncrasies because it's part of who they are and perfect people are so lame and boring.
2 comments:
As one of the beloved friends in your collection of people who will love you even after they read this, I must also add that your inflexibility and unwillingness to adapt, can at time also be annoying. I guess that coincides with point #2, when you're right, you're right, right and right. Except, sometimes, you're actually wrong. Wrong, wrong and wrong.
However, I have a profound belief that our friends are somewhat of an extension of ourselves and therefore, the same things you hate about them you also hate about yourself. So look within, before calling others out. We're all a work in progress and that's what makes us great, since we're constantly growing.
-Insecure snob out!
I think our friends are also an extension of ourselves in that parts of them are who we secretly want to be. I have an ANONYMOUS girlfiend who is a total fashion queen and now that we live in seperate states, my wardrobe just isn't the same because I'm not around to copy her outfits. Her flyness can be the source of annoyance though because it is impossible to get her to leave the house until every perfect accessory is in place (hello! we're going to the freaking laudromat!). My other BFF is an organized neat freak. You'd never catch the layer of dust that's currently lining my TV screen near her apartment (I'm sorry...I mean fancy, upscale condo)! Annoying: no one should be as anal as she. I am near-total opposites with these chicas, but I know we'd make the perfect woman if we were mutated together once N. Korea drops the A-bomb.
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