Dangerously In Like

Everyone who knows me completely understands that I basically write to rant or complain about something. If one finds himself the subject of one of my blogs, he better brace himself for a good e-lashing. I try not to be malicious with my entries- and I usually aim to prove some significant point with my diatribes- but it is what it is. In honor of my return to blog-dom, I will switch it up a bit. Someone has inspired me to write expressions of joy- as opposed to my usual bitchy attacks on whatever I deem to be wrong with my life or the world. Please bear with me as I attempt to venture into the unknown cosmos of blissful blurbing. Trust me, I'll
be back to my regular harangues tomorrow.

Okay- where do I begin? Let me take the "free writing" approach to this one. Not only is this style of writing slightly foreign to me, but so are the strange emotions and experiences I'm dealing with. For example, the mere thought of this person gives me bubbleguts- not the gross ones I suffer from after ingesting an excess of rum and greasy food. These bubbleguts kind of cause me to smile uncontrollably and get all antsy. OMG- I can't stop cheesing when thinking about this dude. On rare occasions (probably when I'm PMS'ing), I have even had the urge to cry over him. Not the familiar tears of depression or anger, but "happy" tears- WTF? I have no idea how to deal with those. I can just hear my dear Bonnie telling me "not to be cryin' over no man" - but did she also mean crying like this? I'm totally embarrassed by these gross, but wonderful sensations I'm feeling.

Hold the phone - he just called me at work just to tell me that he was pondering how fortuitous it was for us to have met each other. Normally, I'd chew somebody out for disrupting my work flow in the middle of the day- while I'm AIM'ing my friends, listening to Wendy Williams and watching Oprah simultaneously; but, with him I just did not know how to respond. It's so easy for me to react to negativity. I have an army of defenses lined up to handle rude, disrespectful, idiotic or stupid people. ANd who in the world calls in the middle of the day to just express kind feelings and thoughts? He does- on a regular. It's sick... yet sweet.

Did I mention he wrote a song for me? Yeah, it is corny but I've never had a guy be inspired enough to compose a three minute tribute about me. It makes me feel special and wanted and all of the ways I have NOT felt from anyone I've dated since my high school sweetheart. We can spend hours together- talking, kissing, watching television, whatever. My mind constantly pesters me to make a fast get away from him because that's how couples bore of one another. Meanwhile, another part of me (dare I say my heart?) draws me in closer- makes me just want to be with him and I linger. The even crazier part is he actually asks me to stay. After spending the entire weekend with him, he actually cooked breakfast for me.

Trust, I am as cynical as they come. For all I know this guy could be hitting me with the Y3K game and I am just too hungry for male affection to notice. That idea crosses my mind from time to time, but honestly I really don't care. I've dated some real pieces of work (and pieces of poo) in my day- and not one of them has made me feel the way this guy does. They put absolutely no unique effort into courting me past paying for dinner and drinks. As a matter of fact, I think I was so used to believing that paying for a date was equivalent to a man liking me that I completely forgot about the other ways a man can show that he sincerely digs me. If he is faking it, then I would like for him to continue because as weird as this feels, I think I might actually like and appreciate it.