Ugh- Spit!

Yesterday on my way back to work after one of my "extended" lunch breaks, I decided to bypass the closest train station and walk the five extra blocks to the next one. Hey, the sun was shining, and thanks to global warming the temperature was in the mid-fifties. That's a treat for a New York City December, so I decided to take advantage. I couldn't help but notice the attractive (at least from behind) brother walking ahead of me, so I quickened my pace a little. Perhaps I could catch his eye and get a walking buddy. As I neared my unsuspecting target, he turned his head just a little. Initially, I thought that he could sense my presence. Newly single and desperate women must release some kind of pheromone. Just as I was about to put on my "blank-cute-girl" stare (mustn't actually LOOK like I was interested), he kind of leaned his head back and hocked a big, nasty loogie on the ground. UGH! And to make matters worst, the backwind had just picked up and his mucus glob almost hit the front of my pant leg. Double UGH! I stopped dead in my tracks and SPAT, "Nasty ass." Dude didn't hear me, though I wish he did. Turns out we were both headed for the same destination and ended up waiting for the train together. He tried to give me the eye a few times on the platform, but I just met his glare with a screwface. I didn't even care what he looked like at that point- he was just nasty. Oh, and would you believe that he even spat again into the train tracks while we were waiting? UGH!

I swear- I hate, hate, hate when people spit on the sidewalks. It is totally gross. What should people do with their phlegm? Beats the hell outta me. Put it in a handkerchief and toss it. Spit off of the edge of the street curb. Swallow it. I don't care. I just don't want anyone's bodily waste on the bottom of my shoes. Really, walking down the streets of New York is like navigating a mine field. I have to dodge dog poop, trash and SPIT. For some reason, the spit bothers me the most. Men are the worst offenders too. Most women attempt to be somewhat discreet when they spit. Personally, I think it's altogether un-ladylike to spit in public. But if it is absolutely necessary to spit, then don't make a big show of it. Do it in a corner or something. Men just spit all willy-nilly in the air and on the ground. I know for a fact that their lower lips and chins must be riddled with spittle. UGH!

Winter is an absolutely horrid spit season. Everyone is walking around sickly and discharging their illnesses on the sidewalks. The spit freezes and remains on the ground for days. Sometimes actual spit-cicles form when people spit over the edge of a surface. It's really just too gross to accurately describe.

A friend told me that New York City is the worst place for me to all of a sudden develop these weird phobias of anything gross. This city is a huge melting pot of germs. But, I just can't help it. Seeing saliva on the the ground triggers something deep in the back of my mind which makes my imagination go wild- in a bad way. I get all fixated on the mucus blobs until i nearly spit up my own bile just imagining its icky texture and taste. Ugh!

At the end of the day, I know that I'll just have to get over myself because people are not going to stop spitting on the sidewalks. But think about how much spit we step on every day. Think about that next time you walk into your home with a spit-bottom shoe. All of that spit all over your nice, clean floors which I know you've eaten a potato chip off of at least once. Ugh!